When the infamous stealing, lying, former boyfriend, Moonpie, was actually someone I loved dearly, he wanted a cat to live with him in his apartment. Now I tried to gently remind him that his lease says "NO PETS" but he insisted that one little cat wouldn't matter to them. So my daughters & I went with him to look at some free kittens. Now this was at the beginning of our relationship, & he was trying to get in good with my girls... so he suggested that they also get a kitten. I wasn't exactly for that because... well, we already had the best cat in the world, my cat, Cash... & we just recently lost the cat from hell that tore our whole house apart, Feebs... Also we had 5 dogs to take care of... so I didn't want anymore animals... period! But of course, my girls pouting, Moonpie's cunning personality & me, being the biggest sucker ever.... we got two new kittens... & they were wild ass kittens...
Fast forward, a few weeks later & Moonpie gets the eviction notice that if he doesn't get rid of the cat then he is gone... So yep, you guessed it... Miss Sucker here gets that cat too. So now I have 3 cats at my house. But that wasn't the worst cause dang, if eventually I didn't get Moonpie too... hmmm...
After Moonpie moved in with me & the girls, I actually thought life was going to be lovely with 3 cats (Cash, Cleo, & Skyler). Moonpie was very attentive to them. They loved him... even the grumpy old cat, Cash... (who likes no one, but me)... We were a big happy family!
Then one morning I wake up & go into the room that Moonpie slept in & attempted to snuggle next to him. Something very small pushed it's way between him & me. OH, now, wait a minute... this is much smaller than our other cats.... I be damned if it was the cutest, littlest kitten & he had a bobbed tail... But crap, he was still a cat!!!!! oh, no, no, no, NO!
Of course, Moonpie came up with some story of finding him outside in the yard.... (Really with all of our dogs???) He had to save him. My girls immediately fell in love with him... They crooned, "Look, Mama, he is just so tiny... Look he is even sucking on our clothes! Awwww!" I ask you what is a gullible sucker of a woman to do?!?! So here came another cat into our family circle... Moonpie wanted to call him Lucky. My youngest came up with the name Llama Bean. She said because "he looks like a llama when he runs & he is as little as a bean." So Lucky Llama Bean became his name or L. L. Bean or just Bean for short. We should have called him Sir Shits-a-lot... cause that is what he did... & never in the litter box... no matter how many times we showed him how... (no we didn't shit in the litter box... you know what I mean...) Aren't cat's born with this innate ability???? Not Bean... Also the sucking got worse... & as he grew it wasn't so cute... & ewww... it weirded me out.
I insisted we get these cats "fixed"! We first got Cleo fixed... I can never remember if it is spayed or neutered... It is neutered for males right? Anyway, we didn't want him to start that awful spraying stuff... have you ever??? man, nasty stuff... He did fine with the little surgical procedure...
So my little misfit family just trucks it right along until the big abandonment from Moonpie. You know it is one thing to abandoned me & my girls... but helllllooooo.... what about the cats.... So I get stuck with a now neutered male with a girl's name (Cleo... really Cleopatra), a female cat who is in heat & screeching the most pitiful song (Skyler) & the most shitting, not to mention he nurses constantly on my clothes, cat ever (Bean).... Is this Karma??? I don't think I ever did anything to animals that might have resulted in this... okay, wait, there were those possums that time... but really, Lord, I tried...
After another month of cleaning up kitty cat crap & pulling the furry suction cup off of me five hundred times a day... I finally gave Bean away yesterday. I had given him chance after chance to hit the litter box but finally after having to move my king size bed for the second time to clean up cat shit... He had to go... Let's just say the natives (my kids) are not happy with me. But hey, do they want their mom closer to sanity or slowly becoming the crazy old cat lady?... I just couldn't handle it... Anyway, the lady who got Bean will take care of him so I'm not too worried.
Today has been another day in the cat business... I took the screeching Skyler to get spayed... (or is that neutered???) Of course, I had her in the very back of my Expedition in the pet carrier but that didn't keep her from howling all the way... She finally got very quiet & I smelled a strong ammonia odor... Yep, she pissed all over herself & was happy... I, on the other hand, almost wrecked & gagged before I could get my windows open... When I got to the clinic I carried the pet carrier at arms length telling the vet tech... "She had a little accident..." That little vet tech gave me the most appreciative look.... (not hardly)...
So now I wait... I go get Skyler later & all my kitties will be fixed... No more baby kitties... Yippie ki yay!!!
And I hope & I pray that no other cats are brought to me to care for in a very long, long time.
And as far as Moonpie... May the fleas of a thousand cats infest his crotch for abandoning us... Cleo now loves me best... so there!
That's not harsh, is it???? Nah, that would be justice... =^. .^=
Fast forward, a few weeks later & Moonpie gets the eviction notice that if he doesn't get rid of the cat then he is gone... So yep, you guessed it... Miss Sucker here gets that cat too. So now I have 3 cats at my house. But that wasn't the worst cause dang, if eventually I didn't get Moonpie too... hmmm...
After Moonpie moved in with me & the girls, I actually thought life was going to be lovely with 3 cats (Cash, Cleo, & Skyler). Moonpie was very attentive to them. They loved him... even the grumpy old cat, Cash... (who likes no one, but me)... We were a big happy family!
Then one morning I wake up & go into the room that Moonpie slept in & attempted to snuggle next to him. Something very small pushed it's way between him & me. OH, now, wait a minute... this is much smaller than our other cats.... I be damned if it was the cutest, littlest kitten & he had a bobbed tail... But crap, he was still a cat!!!!! oh, no, no, no, NO!
Of course, Moonpie came up with some story of finding him outside in the yard.... (Really with all of our dogs???) He had to save him. My girls immediately fell in love with him... They crooned, "Look, Mama, he is just so tiny... Look he is even sucking on our clothes! Awwww!" I ask you what is a gullible sucker of a woman to do?!?! So here came another cat into our family circle... Moonpie wanted to call him Lucky. My youngest came up with the name Llama Bean. She said because "he looks like a llama when he runs & he is as little as a bean." So Lucky Llama Bean became his name or L. L. Bean or just Bean for short. We should have called him Sir Shits-a-lot... cause that is what he did... & never in the litter box... no matter how many times we showed him how... (no we didn't shit in the litter box... you know what I mean...) Aren't cat's born with this innate ability???? Not Bean... Also the sucking got worse... & as he grew it wasn't so cute... & ewww... it weirded me out.
I insisted we get these cats "fixed"! We first got Cleo fixed... I can never remember if it is spayed or neutered... It is neutered for males right? Anyway, we didn't want him to start that awful spraying stuff... have you ever??? man, nasty stuff... He did fine with the little surgical procedure...
So my little misfit family just trucks it right along until the big abandonment from Moonpie. You know it is one thing to abandoned me & my girls... but helllllooooo.... what about the cats.... So I get stuck with a now neutered male with a girl's name (Cleo... really Cleopatra), a female cat who is in heat & screeching the most pitiful song (Skyler) & the most shitting, not to mention he nurses constantly on my clothes, cat ever (Bean).... Is this Karma??? I don't think I ever did anything to animals that might have resulted in this... okay, wait, there were those possums that time... but really, Lord, I tried...
After another month of cleaning up kitty cat crap & pulling the furry suction cup off of me five hundred times a day... I finally gave Bean away yesterday. I had given him chance after chance to hit the litter box but finally after having to move my king size bed for the second time to clean up cat shit... He had to go... Let's just say the natives (my kids) are not happy with me. But hey, do they want their mom closer to sanity or slowly becoming the crazy old cat lady?... I just couldn't handle it... Anyway, the lady who got Bean will take care of him so I'm not too worried.
Today has been another day in the cat business... I took the screeching Skyler to get spayed... (or is that neutered???) Of course, I had her in the very back of my Expedition in the pet carrier but that didn't keep her from howling all the way... She finally got very quiet & I smelled a strong ammonia odor... Yep, she pissed all over herself & was happy... I, on the other hand, almost wrecked & gagged before I could get my windows open... When I got to the clinic I carried the pet carrier at arms length telling the vet tech... "She had a little accident..." That little vet tech gave me the most appreciative look.... (not hardly)...
So now I wait... I go get Skyler later & all my kitties will be fixed... No more baby kitties... Yippie ki yay!!!
And I hope & I pray that no other cats are brought to me to care for in a very long, long time.
And as far as Moonpie... May the fleas of a thousand cats infest his crotch for abandoning us... Cleo now loves me best... so there!
That's not harsh, is it???? Nah, that would be justice... =^. .^=
No comments:
Post a Comment