I always wanted a pouch...

Next week will be a big week for me. I have decided to have the lap band surgery. I guess I decided way back last year really… but you know you can always back out of these things.

I have let my weight escalate to the point to where it is so out of control. I have failed at many diets. I have been depressed. My weight makes it hard for me to exercise. The joints let me know this by screaming with pain.

I actually have been thinking about gastric bypass for years. But the thing that always deterred me from it was the total rerouting of my gastrointestinal system. I just didn’t want that major of a change. It has worked great for some people, but I just couldn’t make that decision to do that. Then the alternative measure, the Lap Band, came out. I started thinking about it more, but was still indecisive about it. It was still surgery but at least it is not rerouting of the stomach, just a band around it. I thought and researched about it for another year.

Then last year something just clicked. I had to do something. I was miserable. I wanted to do things with my kids I couldn’t do. I was tired of always being the fat chick. I decided to go to a seminar that the hospital’s bariatric clinic. After hearing what they said, I was still unsure. I mean it is major money, even with my insurance paying on it. Also, just like any surgery there are risks. And like everything else weight concerning, it can be beat. Like the clinic says “It is a tool to help with weight loss.” I know it is not a cure.

I talked to my primary physician about it (who I thought would be totally against it). Surprisingly, she encouraged me to do it. She thought I could be successful with it. So I made an appointment with the Bariatric Clinic.

I had to see the doctor at the Bariatric Clinic for 6 months, so he could monitor me and I guess get justification for insurance payment. I have had sleep studies (which ended up me having to wear CPAP for sleep apnea), an upper GI, and psychiatric counseling. They totally prepare you for this. I could have had my surgery back in October, but since all that happened with Moonpie, I couldn’t afford to do it. Also, I still don’t think I was quite ready.

You see, I wanted to get my head on straight. I know that this is still going to be hard. I know I will have a new tool to help fight my weight battle, but I know I can still fail. Some people start gaining weight after having the Lap Band and even a gastric bypass. There is a guy on the Biggest Loser that had gastric bypass surgery. You can stretch your new pouch. I really, really don’t want to fail. I know I have got to make new lifestyle choices.

Anyway, at the end of January, I decided it was going to be now or never. I had done everything there was to do to prepare. So I decided to go for it. I was thinking about having the surgery March or April, but my work schedule was too busy for it. I got my co-workers involved, and we found a week in February that wasn’t so busy. My co-workers and friends said that is the week to do it. It was also the first week that was available for the Bariatric Clinic to be able to do the surgery. It all fell into place.

So these past few weeks have been a blur. I’ve been trying to get ready for the surgery. I’ve been on the high protein/low carb diet to shed a few pounds before surgery. I’ve started taking the vitamins. I’ve started walking. I am now on a liquid diet in preparation for the surgery date. Yes, I am freaking hungry as a hostage!!!!!! But I am determined.

So this is where I am as of today… I hope I can keep this blog updated with my progress (or even failure). I think it will help me to keep blogging about it.

So think of me and say a little prayer on Tuesday, February 24th. Yeah, it is Fat Tuesday… How friggin’ appropriate is that!!!!!

Look what I "C"

I’m doing the ABC game (or meme or whatever the hell you call it)… Kylie has given me “C” to list 10 things I love that begin with the letter “C”.


Christ- I love Him. Jesus is my Lord & Savior… I, on the other hand, am His problem child. It is definitely a one side relationship. He does more for me than I do for Him. It is something I’m working on, but I feel it will always be a little one sided…Don’t you think? He head thumps me frequently to get my attention… which I at times ignore and then pay the price.

Cats- Not just any cat, but MY 3 cats that I have: Cash, Cleo, & Skyler. They are by far the coolest cats anyone could have & probably 3 of the most troublesome. Cash is the oldest and grumpiest and my baby. He is definitely the leader. Cleo and Skylar are litter mates. Cleo is the lover boy and Lou’s kitty. He loves showing people love by purring and kneading on them. Skyler is the dare devil. She climbs to the highest points of the house and even though she is black and white, my daughters and I think she may just be blonde. She ain’t the brightest crayon in the box. Skyler is Mulan’s cat. That is because no other cat tolerates Mulan. Skyler does.

Cash- I love cash… on so many levels… I love Johnny Cash, my cat Cash, and most of all cash money. I love having cash in my pocket, purse, and in my hand. I’m keen for the green. I’ll even let you stick it in my undies if you will donate it to me. The stripper dance for it is optional on your part.

Chocolate- I will almost kill for chocolate… I… FREAKIN’… LOVE… CHOCOLATE… It is an obsession of mine. I’m coo coo for the cocoa.. I don’t think you can have too much in your life… Especially plain Hershey chocolate! I rather have cash any day but if you are short on funds that day and you want to get in my good graces give me chocolate. Milk chocolate… not the dark! Of course right now I’m dieting so I don’t get to enjoy any chocolate except my chocolate protein shakes. It is still chocolate, just not as good. :-p

Cherry Limeade- Since I have said good bye to my beloved diet mountain dew (& have suffered from the DT’s while getting off the liquid crack) I have found a new taste for my palette. I’ve always savored the cherry limeades from the Sonic, so when a friend mentioned that you can get the cherry limeade powder go packs (*think generic Crystal Light) I almost creamed my jeans in delight. I just buy a box of those suckers & take out several of skinny little packets and anytime I don’t want to drink bottled water (or regular non-bottled water, for that matter)…I open that pack & pour… well, dang if I don’t have me some cherry friggin’ limeade! And if I’m not careful on how I drink, it will even give me a cute little cherry limeade mustache… (sort of looks like I went all crazy with the red lipstick…* think psyche ward patient on this one)

Cell phones- How did we EVER live without them????? And with what all cell phones can do now… wow… I get to now carry my brain in my pocket. If I think I’ve lost my mind… nope, I found it… it was in my pocket or purse the whole time…

Coronas- Notice it is plural. Not singular. That is because I don’t love one… I love them in packs of six or more with lime. Remember Coronas without limes are naked beers…

Classic Rock- Use to be classic rock was from the 60’s and 70’s. Now it includes my beloved 80’s. Hip hop, rap, country, nor the polka can make my enlarged heart race or get my arthritic hips to gyrating like some screaming electric guitar on some classic rock… My cell’s ring tone is “Back in Black” by AC/DC!

Chaps- Oh, my…. Just typing the words make me blush and think naughty, naughty thoughts… I can say the word and I giggle like I made a sexual reference… Just think of what I do when I see a man in them… People think I’m having a seizure. Chaps...whether it be on a cowboy or on a biker… makes me so effin’ horny!!! Yeah, I LOVE me some chaps!

Calm- I don’t like being a drama mama or having chaos in my life. I like to be calm… which is practically non existent with the two teenaged daughters. Have you ever tried to be calm with two hormonal teenage girls??? Well, let me tell you there ain’t enough chocolate, cash, or coronas that can get you to that zen state… But hey, ho, there… I haven’t tried a man in chaps yet? Oh, yeah… oh wait oh…no that wouldn’t be calm either…definitely not calm…. But wild… oh yeah, wild… Wait what was I talking about? oh the calm… I love the calm on occasion… but not in chaps!


If you want to participate, leave a comment on this post and I will assign you a letter (make sure I have your email). You then write about 10 things you love that begin with your assigned letter and post them on your blog.