I always wanted a pouch...

Next week will be a big week for me. I have decided to have the lap band surgery. I guess I decided way back last year really… but you know you can always back out of these things.

I have let my weight escalate to the point to where it is so out of control. I have failed at many diets. I have been depressed. My weight makes it hard for me to exercise. The joints let me know this by screaming with pain.

I actually have been thinking about gastric bypass for years. But the thing that always deterred me from it was the total rerouting of my gastrointestinal system. I just didn’t want that major of a change. It has worked great for some people, but I just couldn’t make that decision to do that. Then the alternative measure, the Lap Band, came out. I started thinking about it more, but was still indecisive about it. It was still surgery but at least it is not rerouting of the stomach, just a band around it. I thought and researched about it for another year.

Then last year something just clicked. I had to do something. I was miserable. I wanted to do things with my kids I couldn’t do. I was tired of always being the fat chick. I decided to go to a seminar that the hospital’s bariatric clinic. After hearing what they said, I was still unsure. I mean it is major money, even with my insurance paying on it. Also, just like any surgery there are risks. And like everything else weight concerning, it can be beat. Like the clinic says “It is a tool to help with weight loss.” I know it is not a cure.

I talked to my primary physician about it (who I thought would be totally against it). Surprisingly, she encouraged me to do it. She thought I could be successful with it. So I made an appointment with the Bariatric Clinic.

I had to see the doctor at the Bariatric Clinic for 6 months, so he could monitor me and I guess get justification for insurance payment. I have had sleep studies (which ended up me having to wear CPAP for sleep apnea), an upper GI, and psychiatric counseling. They totally prepare you for this. I could have had my surgery back in October, but since all that happened with Moonpie, I couldn’t afford to do it. Also, I still don’t think I was quite ready.

You see, I wanted to get my head on straight. I know that this is still going to be hard. I know I will have a new tool to help fight my weight battle, but I know I can still fail. Some people start gaining weight after having the Lap Band and even a gastric bypass. There is a guy on the Biggest Loser that had gastric bypass surgery. You can stretch your new pouch. I really, really don’t want to fail. I know I have got to make new lifestyle choices.

Anyway, at the end of January, I decided it was going to be now or never. I had done everything there was to do to prepare. So I decided to go for it. I was thinking about having the surgery March or April, but my work schedule was too busy for it. I got my co-workers involved, and we found a week in February that wasn’t so busy. My co-workers and friends said that is the week to do it. It was also the first week that was available for the Bariatric Clinic to be able to do the surgery. It all fell into place.

So these past few weeks have been a blur. I’ve been trying to get ready for the surgery. I’ve been on the high protein/low carb diet to shed a few pounds before surgery. I’ve started taking the vitamins. I’ve started walking. I am now on a liquid diet in preparation for the surgery date. Yes, I am freaking hungry as a hostage!!!!!! But I am determined.

So this is where I am as of today… I hope I can keep this blog updated with my progress (or even failure). I think it will help me to keep blogging about it.

So think of me and say a little prayer on Tuesday, February 24th. Yeah, it is Fat Tuesday… How friggin’ appropriate is that!!!!!