I'm with the band...

I am a week post op from the lap band surgery, and I have to say it has gone very well so far. I have been back at work since Monday. Many people who have had this surgery before me think that is amazing. Most say they have had to take off 2-3 weeks after the surgery. I only missed 4 working days. Add the 2 weekend days and in total I was off 6 days. I think I am pretty amazing, too…. I give God the credit though. He has made it so easy for me. I had no complications with the surgery and no side effects so far.

Last Tuesday, I weighed before surgery and I had lost 19 pounds so far. This was done by first a week and a half of a high protein, low carb diet and then another week of clear liquids. I’m gonna tell you, that shit was hard to do. I did cheat a little by eating some scrambled eggs during that time. I was so freakin’ hungry. The doctor insisted that it be done to lower my BMI before surgery. I’m glad I did. It has helped me prepare for new eating habits.

Anyway, the surgery went well. I had an early bout of nausea in the recovery room but I guess they gave me something for it because it was short. The pain hit me as I was waking up and first thing I said was, “I’m hurting…”! Hey, I make sure I get my pain meds. I was given a couple of IV pushes of Demerol. That is some good stuff.

When I got back to my room, my mom and aunts were waiting for me. After I got settled in there I started hurting again so they gave me a shot of Demerol then. The nurse kept coming in asking me, “Are you not asleep yet?” I kept telling her, “Nope, I’m wide awake!” I think she was shocked that with all that Demerol, I should have been knocked out. Hell, I didn’t want to miss anything… Mom & my aunts were sharing all of the local gossip that I never get to hear. I was catching up on all of the dirty laundry. And I don’t think I have ever had Demerol so I didn’t want it wasted on sleep! I wanted to enjoy that high... (man, I sound like I get high so often....pfffttt I wish...)

Several of my friends sent me flowers. Such beautiful bouquets of mixed flowers (tulips, roses, calla lilies, gerbera daisies)! A couple of my friends brought me a mum with Mardi Gras balloons in honor of Fat Tuesday. They also gave me beads, and I didn’t have to show my boobies for them, but I did hike up my gown and showed them my incisions. Heck, I showed EVERBODY my incisions… I thought a couple of people were gonna loose their lunch… and not over the incisions looking so bad, but the fact they had to look at my big white belly!

I got up and walked within an hour of being back at my room. My friends, Q and Rat, came to see me so I made them walk with me holding my hands. We looked like lesbians going for a threesome… I clung to them like they were my life boats on a sinking ship. I got a little nauseated before I completed my walk, but after I laid down in bed, it passed. I then took advantage of my weaken state and my friends’ sympathy and made Rat feed me some ice chips… And yes, I flashed them my incisions for them to gaze upon and join in my nausea. I got no beads for my effort.

Only problem I had in the hospital is that my blood pressure was low during the night I was there. This worried my mom to no end. She kept holding my hand asking me if I was okay. I kept telling her I felt fine. My mom is a nurse too, so we know that an abnormally low blood pressure after surgery can indicate problems. My blood pressure at its lowest was 88/48. All my other vital signs were fine though. No rapid pulse or increase in respirations and no other symptoms. We finally decided it had to be lower because of all the Demerol that was given to me. I was chilled!!!! I’m telling you that is some very good stuff…hee, hee..

The rest of the hospital stay was uneventful except for my freakin’ IV going off every 2 seconds because some dipshit put it in my antecubital (inner elbow). So of course every time I moved in my sleep, I kinked the line and it beeped. There is no rest in the hospital.

I went home on the 2nd day post op. My mom, bless her, got me in my house and I told her to go home and get some rest herself. I think she was worn out because she waited on me hand and foot and that blasted IV kept her awake. My cat, Cash, curled up at my feet, and he and I slept the rest of the afternoon away.

When the girls got home, I was excited to show them my incisions and of course, they were less than happy to look at them screaming, “PULL YOUR SHIRT DOWN MAMA! YOU ARE MAKING US SICK”! After hearing too many gagging sounds from them, I called them a bunch of wussies and went back to bed. I tried to get sympathy from them but it was a moot point. Mulan wondered what was for supper, and Lou, who lifted weights in basketball, couldn’t get around as good as I could because she was so sore. I ended up being Lou’s nurse and telling Mulan that all I could have was clear liquids for another week so she was on her own. Geez, didn’t I just have surgery??????

I stayed at home the rest of week, and took care of myself. Seriously though it hasn’t been so bad… thanks to liquid Loratab!!!! If I can’t have Demerol… then that will do…

I started on thicker liquids Sunday. I was supposed to wait until Tuesday but I was hungry, damn it, after 2 weeks of clear liquids and protein shakes. I never knew grits tasted so good…. Yeah, I’m from the south but I have never liked grits! But, honey, they were manna from heaven on Sunday. I don’t think a steak would have tasted better. I have tolerated thinned grits, and pureed soups and vegetables and thinned mashed potatoes really well so far. I can’t wait until next week. I get to have a soft food diet…. Yummy....

So it brings me to today…a week post op… my 3rd day back at work. I am tired today. I have made it really good so far, but today fatigue is setting in. I don’t know if it is from work being so busy or just the after affects of surgery or because I’m still eating like I’m an anorexic supermodel or a combo of all of it. Yeah, I have been hungry. The band doesn’t cure that, but when I eat something I can tell that I am getting full. That is something new for me! It used to take a whole lot of food for me to feel full. Like I used to tell everyone, "It took a whole lot of money (on food) to look this way."

People have asked me how much weight I have lost since the surgery. The answer is, "I don't know." I go back to the doctor on Monday and I'm not weighing until that time. I guess I'm a little scared. I'll just see then. I just hope I can continue to do so well... I'm taking one day at a time and trying not let old habits come back...

All I know for now is I’m beginning a new chapter in my life… I AM WITH THE BAND like the friggin’ rockstar I am!