Sweet War

Today the countries of Lou and Mulan were embroiled in a catastrophic battle over an alleged theft of sweet confections. The government of Mulan accuses the population of Lou of the taking of her delectable candy.

The Mulan Federation suggested that the Nation of Lou invaded her territory in what appears to be an attempt of terrorism. Lou covertly ousted the confections of mass ingestion from Mulan, which incited a war between the two countries. There were tensions between the two from a previous riotous encounter involving a territorial claim of a pair of jeans last week. This has lead to an on-going crisis between the two.

An eyewitness recounts the dispute.

Kingdom of Mulan: Who took my candy?

Lou Commonwealth: It is my candy too.

Union of Mulan: You already ate your part. Give it back!

Principality of Lou: (ingesting another piece of candy) Nope...

Independent State of Mulan: I’m getting my candy… (Grabs at candy)

The screeching hostile territories of Mulan & Lou: MMMAAAMMMAAA!!!!

Enters the nation of Switzermama.

The neutral nation of Switzermama: (exasperated) Y’all share the candy…

Mulan Republic: THAT is MY candy!!!!

Mulan proceeds to push Lou...

The Grand Duchy of Lou: I’m ABOUT to punch YOU in the FACE!!!!

The Sultanate of Mulan: BRING….. IT….. ON!!!!!

Switzermama rolls her eyes, shrugs & walks off… (But not after she slyly embezzles her own piece of candy.)

Mulan and Lou mount offensive and defensive operative measures simultaneously

After many strategic tactical measures, Mulan mounts a strike & removes the candy from Lou’s possession. Mulan then hastily retreats.

Lou launches pillow missiles strikes. Mulan trips over the small peaceful nation of Cleo leaving minor damage.
Lou launches a second pillow missile strike hitting the densely populated region of Mulan, called “The Buttocks.” No casualties were reported.

Mulan escapes to safety & shoves the coveted candy in her mouth while singing a victory song. Lou promises retaliation in the future.

Neither nation could be reached for comment and refused all attempts for interviews. The nation of Switzermama had this comment.

“Sometimes there is no peaceful solution when two hormonal nations are in a bitter (yet sweet) war over the priceless commodity of chocolate.”